Ah, the calendar shows the third of April. That, of course, rings a bell. Yours truly turns 34 today! I’m celebrating like I do every year, by not celebrating. This annoys Anniken, because she wants to celebrate properly, but I think she has come to terms with the fact that I just don’t enjoy being in the center of anything at all. That, or people are hiding somewhere in the apartment, holding their breath, getting ready to jump out and yell “surprise!” at any moment now. The potential for things like that happening makes me nervous. But I hope they are not waiting, because I came home two hours ago and by now someone might have died from asphyxia. Don’t want that on this day, the day of my birthday.

So, what’s it like to turn 34? It’s a big number, and I have to be honest, seeing 34 makes me feel old. But not that bad kind of old, rather that good kind of old: The wise old, that the-old-guy-who-knows-everything-old. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, I don’t know very much at all, and I lack a lot of a knowledge you’d expect an old-timer of 34 to have:

• I don’t have a driver’s license. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t know how to drive a car, I just can’t do it legally. Also, it means that I’m not allowed to comment on anyone’s driving or say anything about cars in general. Anniken said so.
• I have no idea how to raise kids. I’m lagging behind most of my same age friends and colleagues on this one. Luckily, us gentlemen can fire off well-function armies of potential babies until we croak, so no need to worry. Then again, it would be nice to have kids that don’t call me “granddad”.
• I can’t swim properly. My dirty, dark secret and my Kryptonite. As a kid I had swimming lessons, our swimming teacher was a fruitcake and to make a long story short, I’m lucky to be here today and not at the bottom of a public pool. The incident basically marked me for life and it took over 10 years before I voluntarily dipped my head under water again. Getting water in my face still freaks me out to this day.

Looking strictly at the above list, I think we can safely say that. in terms of adult knowledge, I’ve failed miserably. But life is not just about making lists and knowing adult stuff: I’ve got a great job, enthusiastic and  talented colleagues, I have wonderful friends that don’t give up on me even if I might be the most social individual, I’m living in a top notch apartment with the girl of my dreams, and just to top it off, I’m fairly healthy as well.

Couldn’t ask for more, really.