There’s no doubt. Our lives have been turned upside down: Vilde is the new Queen of the Castle. Being a father is pretty much exactly what I expected it to be at this point: Everything from nerve wrecking to fantastic. Nerve wrecking when she projectile vomited an entire meal for the first time, fantastic when she smiled and made a happy sound for the first time. There are a lot of “first times”. Still, there’s nothing that can really prepare you for something like this, and it’s massive learn-as-you-go experience.

Here’s a small selection of what Vilde has taught us in the first six-ish weeks. All of these are probably no-brainers for people who are already parents and not very interesting reading for the rest of you, but I had a goal to pump out this entry in June, and I’m sticking to my plan.

• Taking a dump on the changing table is the best thing ever. Second best is to do it 5 seconds after a fresh diaper is on.
• Crying means one of many things: Hungry, tired, too cold, too hot, bored, tummy ache - or none of these. Debugging will have to continue until the problem is found and solved, however, because the sound will only increase until that happens¹.
• So far, Vilde has operated on a 5-scale crying level:
  1. I need your attention about something.
  2. I’m getting hungry, you should start to prepare a meal.
  3. I was warning you on level 2, now it’s too late, you had your chance. I need food now!
  4. Oh my god, this guy is crushing my intestines! (At the doctor’s office for her 6 week checkup.)
  5. Now I’m just screaming as loud as I can because why the fuck not?
• Insane arm twitching means that something is coming out, in either end. Or both ends, and if that happens, we’re most likely on the changing table.
• Bottle feeding worked like a charm. Both breast milk and formula. This gives Anniken the opportunity so socialize a little without having Vilde hanging from a boob.
• On of these occasions, I was in charge of feeding Vilde. Since I had no idea she could have a need to just suck on something, that she doesn’t necessarily suck the bottle because she’s hungry, I fed her way too much that evening. This resulted in the mother of all vomits later in the night, but no crying, strangely enough.
• After the unfortunate over-feeding incident, we introduced The Pacifier. Parents will tell you it’s the best invention ever and they are right. What might be a bit challenging is to find the right pacifier, but once you find it, you’ll worship it.
• Vilde’s Words of the Day are: “Oi” and “eo”. We’re hoping this is her versions of “hey” and “hello”, which we say to her. A lot. But at only six weeks, we might be stretching her talent for words.
• She’s about as photogenic as her dad. Poor kid.

And this is how life is these days. I’m loving it!