Over the last couple of months I’ve silently added new one-liners without letting you know. What a dick! Every now and then I also get e-mails with new suggestions for one-liners, but most of them are, how should I put this… not that good. But a couple of days ago, I got a long list of great ones from one Simon Elms. Here are the ones I added to the one-liners collection:

• Linux is only free if your time is worthless.
• “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” - James Branch Cabell
• “Life is a sexually transmitted disease” - R. D. Laing
• If you take something away from users, they’ll sneak it in the back way.
• “Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.” - Blaise Pascal
• “Patience has its limits - take it too far and its cowardice.” - George Jackson
• “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” - Pablo Picasso
• Old ideas got that way because they proved useful.
• It always takes longer and costs more to fix it later.
• Faster hardware doesn’t solve business problems - unless the business problem is slow hardware.
• Systems aren’t made from metaphors, paradigms and methodologies. They’re made from code, wires and hardware.
• “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” - Leo Tolstoy
• “Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” - Kin Hubbard
• “Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live” - Damian Conway
• “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.” – Bill Gates
• “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Emo Philips
• “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” - Mark Twain
• It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
• “Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute.” - George Bernard Shaw
• “I can resist everything except temptation.” - Oscar Wilde
• “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Winston Churchill
• “It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” - Winston Churchill
• “Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.” - Richard Feynman
• “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.” - Groucho Marx
• “I intend to live forever, or die trying.” - Groucho Marx
• “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” - Woody Allen
• “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” - Albert Einstein
• “It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” - Albert Einstein
• “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” - Albert Einstein
• “You may delay, but Time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin
• “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” - Isaac Asimov
• “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny …’” - Isaac Asimov
• “Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” - Isaac Asimov
• “There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” - Jeremy S. Anderson
• “Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.” - George Burns
• Resistance isn’t futile, it’s voltage divided by amperage.
• “Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” - Arthur C. Clarke
• Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.