March One-Liners

Here are some additions to the ever-growing one-liners collection.

• Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
• Sure, I’d love to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?
• Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
• All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.
• Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals.”
• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• I want patience, and I want it now!
• Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
• My conscience is clean — I have never used it.
• Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
• Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.
• You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today.
• Everything in moderation, including moderation.
• Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.
• It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.