Here are some new one-liners I’ve added. This time there’s a little word play. But then a good pun is its own reword.

• Just say NO to negativity.
• Your worst humiliation is only someone else’s momentary entertainment.
• Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
• Stable relationships are for horses.
• I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
• Wisdom is a comb given to a man once he is bald.
• Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
• Trust in God, but tie your camel.
• Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.
• The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Hey, I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s!
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.
• There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
• If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.