July One-Liners

It’s the 1st of July, which means there’s time to add some more funny one-liners to the ever-growing one-liners collection.

• “They didn’t want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.” - Robert A. Heinlein
• “Perfection itself is imperfection.” - Vladimir Horowitz
• “Every dogma has its day.” - Anthony Burgess
• “When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” - Mark Twain
• “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” - Amy Sedaris
• “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - David Lee Roth
• “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?” - Leo Durocher
• The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.
• “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” - Meister Eckhart
• “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” - Zig Ziglar
• “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” - Bruce Lee
• “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.” - Ted Turner
• Don’t let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you’re worth.
• “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” - Amelia Earhart
• “You do not become greater by making others smaller.” - Krishna Dharma
• “I’ve sometimes thought of marrying - and then I’ve thought again.” - Noel Coward
• “In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
• “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” - Leo Buscaglia