The new year is here! Let’s celebrate by adding some brand new one-liners to the ever-growing collection. This month, it’s a mixed bag of one-liners, with a little programming wisdom that has overflowed¹ from December’s Programming Special.

• When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
• “Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.” - Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering
• The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
• “A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.” - Doug Linder
• All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
• I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
• What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
• My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she’s way out of my league.
• I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he’s still making fun of me.
• Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
• It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.
• Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
• Don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone.
• She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
• Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
• The most dangerous part of a motorcycle is the nut that connects the seat to the handlebar.
• We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
• Don’t worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn’t be lost much longer.