February One-liners, Part II

For various reasons, it’s been a slow year so far in terms of writing for me. To make up for it, here’s one of the easiest and probably most entertaining entries I write: More one-liners:

• Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
• Gravity always gets me down.
• It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
• The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
• Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
• Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
• “A word to the wise ain’t necessary - it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” - Bill Cosby
• “Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.” - Red Skelton
• “I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.” - Warren Buffett
• “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” - Robin Williams
• “I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.” - Stephen Fry