February One-liners

Here are a few new one-liners for the collection.

• Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
• “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix
• He who feels that he is too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito.
• If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.
• Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke with a stick.
• “He, who doesn’t hope to win has already lost.” - Simon Bolivar
• “The older I get, the smarter my Dad gets.” - Mark Twain
• If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and keep away from children.
• “When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.” - Ben Franklin
• The road to a friends house is never long.
• The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
• Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
• Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
• Don’t judge a book by its movie.
• If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
• Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
• Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
• Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
• Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
• I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.