August One-liners
New one-liners for August 2015.
New additions to the one-liners collection:
- My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
- Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
- I live in my own little world, but it’s OK, they know me here.
- Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
- “I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” - Steven Wright
- “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” – Demetri Martin
- “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.” – Sam Kinison
- “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except when you’re at a funeral.
- We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
- It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look.
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